Feedback

So I've been writing stories and poems and, yes, song lyrics, since I was a little girl. In the 7th grade, I was so entranced with mythology that I created my own cosmos and romances with all my gods and goddesses and lords and ladies.

What I wouldn't pay to somehow have those notebooks full of writing from 1996.

Even now, I'm writing in a genre I can't even describe properly to people, stories in a format I can't really explain, and the writing all is so clear in my head... but I can't tell if what is in my head is portraying itself accurately on the page.

Sometimes I wish I could just hook up a USB to my brain and into Word and have it all work out gorgeously with my writing style and the correct form and wording intact... but... writing is a process for a reason.

Sometimes I seem to get lost. Sub-plots crop up and turn into stories and new characters take over, and my characters seem to develop these desires I never thought they'd have...

It's a mess really... I wish it could be like when I was in school and someone could tell me if I was doing this right.

And really, I have let some people read excerpts... I've read aloud to people sometimes as well... but I don't feel like I'm getting feedback, but just general "Oh it's good. I like this part" comments...

I know I won't be the next J.K. Rowling... and honestly, I don't think I'd want to be. I don't think I'll ever be a famous writer. But I want these characters to have a life outside of my head. I want their stories to be told. I want them to be real to someone other than just me and for that to happen, I need to get them out of my head...

On top of all of it, I'm terrified of getting real "criticism" because I don't know what my reaction will be if it's bad...

I might just cry, or I might infuriatingly defend myself... who knows? Whatever I do, I don't want it to crush my passion for writing out of me. I want to move forward... I just need to find a way to get constructive feedback...