Thoughts on Faith: How do others know I am saved and is it important?

For a while now, I've been thinking about apologetics... for over 4 years now I've been living in London, feeling like I am here on mission. Not a missionary, per se, but clearly sent by God to love people here and serve them, and thereby serve Him. 


Yet, I feel a deep reluctance for people to know I am a Christian sometimes. Sometimes I feel like when people know I'm a Christian, it somehow is going to mislead them... 


Recently, a woman I work with, let's call her Sarah, had her mother pass away. She confided in me one day and I felt a particular burden on my heart to pray for her. And I felt the particular verse "And I will send you the Comforter" from John 14:16... I felt this deep sense of loss for her, a sense of loss that nothing could fill, that nothing could surmount. The only thing that could gap it was the Holy Spirit... the Great Comforter that Jesus sends us when He has left. So I wrote a card for her, and awkwardly gave it to her and told her to read it later. 


She came into my classroom the next day and embraced me and it was glorious. But she said with a smile, "I didn't know that you were a Christian..." 


Unfortunately, I don't think many people DO... 


And I wonder, is this a problem... 


It's not like I lie about it or avoid talking about anything... it just tends to not come up at work. I've invited people to our Christmas services and sent emails about Church events... so... should everyone know that I'm a Christian or not? Should I wear a little ID badge? I don't know... 


I spend so much time thinking about the "spiritual reality" of my school... the energy you feel there, praying for God's Spirit to come, praying for the leadership and the staff and students, sometimes even hiding in my classroom behind my desk, praying and listening to worship music during my breaks if I've had a rough day. I try to have worship on in the background to rev me up, keep me positive, to fill me up with everything I need to love the children... Do they need to know that I'm actively doing this as a Christian? Have I neglected the physical reality of being a Christian in my workplace? Should I "go public," so to speak? Is it enough to just look like a good person, without doing my good for religious or spiritual reasons? (more on this later)... 


A devotional from the Bible in One Year at HTB wrote: 

The second-century Letter to Diognetus described the Christians’ lifestyle in the following way:
‘They live in their own countries, but only as aliens.  They have a share in everything as citizens, and endure everything as foreigners.  Every foreign land is their fatherland, and yet for them every fatherland is a foreign land … It is true that they are “in the flesh”, but they do not live “according to the flesh”.
They busy themselves on earth, but their citizenship is in heaven.  They obey the established laws, but in their own lives they go far beyond what the laws require.  They love all [people], and by all [people] are persecuted.  They are unknown, and still they are condemned; they are put to death, and yet they are brought to life.
They are poor, and yet they make many rich; they are completely destitute, and yet they enjoy complete abundance.  They are dishonoured, and in their very dishonour are glorified; they are defamed, and are vindicated.  They are reviled, and yet they bless; when they are affronted, they still pay due respect ... Christians dwell in the world, but are not of the world.’

This Letter mirrors a passage written by Paul in 1 Corinthians 4. 

At Messiah, the common Mennonite mantra when asked if one is saved is "Ask my neighbor." It is the obvious idea that one's Christian life should be obvious to those observing you. The thing is, what "clues" them into one's Christianity? Is it chanting Bible verses or praying loud prayers, because those things were shunned by Jesus when done by the Pharisees. Is it community service? As Bill Johnson and several other Church leaders have pointed out, being saved is much more than just being a "good" person. Being a Christian is about the saving power of grace from the death of Jesus Christ covering you, and that grace and love then pouring out of your life all over everything you do and everyone you meet. 

Nicky Gumble keeps telling a story about Focus, a Church Retreat at HTB this summer, where a man came to meet his business partner and stumbled into the main tent where people were worshiping and was struck to the ground by the Holy Spirit, he ended up coming back, getting saved and baptized and his life is completely changed. 


See, I LOVE that people do good things in the world, I do... but, it's Jesus that is going to fulfill your life, my life, and make it, spectacular, if not unexpected. 


This passage in Isaiah keeps coming to my mind, as what life is like without Jesus to fill it up: 

Isaiah 29: 8 Just as when a hungry person dreams of eating
and wakes up still hungry, or a thirsty person dreams of drinking
and wakes up faint, still thirsty, so shall the multitude of all the nations be
that fight against Mount Zion.

Whether it's thirst, anxiety, an edginess, or as the Rolling Stones sang, "satisfaction," life is not going to be full without Jesus. 


The thing is, as we can see from the stories of Moses and Job, and the lives of the Disciples and Saints, particularly Paul, life with Jesus isn't necessarily going to be what we expect, or a walk in the park. 


But more than this... more than this idea of suffering or fulfillment, is just seeing the amazing things that God does. 


For a while, I've felt like something is coming, something that God's going to do. Something big. Maybe in a way it's already coming. 


People talk about the amount of suffering in the world today, and all of the crises, but I also see so many people rising up and supporting one another, loving one another, fighting for one another. 


Outside of the church, a few hundred years ago, the concept of charity didn't exist really. 


So, I don't know if I can do this...if it's allowed, I suppose, but I'm going to echo and then answer one prophet with another. 


Habakkuk 1: 2-5

² O Lord, how long shall I cry for help,
   and you will not listen?
Or cry to you ‘Violence!’
   and you will not save?
³ Why do you make me see wrongdoing
   and look at trouble?
Destruction and violence are before me;
   strife and contention arise.
⁴ So the law becomes slack
   and justice never prevails.
The wicked surround the righteous—
   therefore judgement comes forth perverted. 
⁵ Look at the nations, and see!
   Be astonished! Be astounded!
For a work is being done in your days
   that you would not believe if you were told. 

Yes, I look out of my windows, walk down the streets, watch the television, listen to people talking and everywhere is disaster and injustice and suffering. 


But like the man who came for a business deal and left born again, like him and so many others, I see miracles happening... 


Things only the Holy Spirit could be doing. And I wonder, is that the difference between dreaming of eating and eating? Is the Holy Spirit in and on and around my life what my neighbors will notice without me shouting long obnoxious prayers and ostentatiously covering myself in sackcloth and ashes? (Alas, where can I find sackcloth anyway?)... 


All I know is that I want to see... I want to see what God is going to do and I hope that somehow my neighbors see something... different, different yet humble, different yet humble yet glorious about the life that God is leading me through. 


More on this later...