Writing Communities: Everyone is out to destroy or steal my ideas

So... while I've never been on DeviantART... I'm a budding writer and I know I'm in desperate need of a community to read/edit/support me as I write. It takes a  village to publish a novel... maybe...

The thing is I am SOO suspicious of everyone... successful and not. They will steal my ideas (as if my ideas were intriguing and rare in the first place). They will mock me behind my back. They will rip my novel to pieces and then steal it in the manner of deception used in Bridesmaids.

I know that supportive and creative writing communities exist, but I think instead of trying to find one that suits me, I'm trying to build my own by finding friends who write and swap and critique and encourage.

While I tried to engage a bit with the nanowrimo forums... even they seemed terrifying to me. While I don't think I'm a terrible writer, I'm not actually sure how good/not good I am. I know grammar, I'm not sure about aesthetic. I know what I like, I know lit crit., but approaching things from a writerly perspective is something I'm not as experienced with (odd for someone who writes on a near daily basis).

Writing is new territory for me. I've been writing stories and poems since I was a little girl, but I've kept them mostly to myself. I don't know how good I am, so my hubris level is very low. I take it for what it is, and don't expose it to the world for ridicule. But the time is coming when I would like to put it out there, and I just can't seem to find the community I'm looking for where it seems friendly but not forced, business-like and helpful, and understanding.

Everything out there seems like a competition... sigh...

Advice? I'll take anything I can get my hands and eyes on ... 

Angel Faces

I love angels... majestic, slightly neutered, and almost always hard core. Angels can be warriors, messengers, worshipers, and don't you know one day I'll be auditioning for the angel choir, which, incidentally will KICK the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in the you-know-what.

But I find that renderings of angels are rarely accurate when I read the Bible. Take cherubs, for instance. Cherubs are fat baby angels with wings usually. They are associated with the Greek god Cupid... sigh.

In Ezekiel 41, Ezekiel receives a vision of the New Temple... on one side there are carvings of cherubim and palm trees: 18-19 "Each cherub had two faces: a human face turned toward the palm tree on the one side, and the face of a young lion turned toward the palm tree on the other side." I couldn't even find a picture on google... but here are some more accurate images of angels described in the Bible. All I know is that these gorgeous mysterious creatures definitely carry the glory of God with them. If one appeared before me, or as in the Ezekiel 41 passage, it was carved all over the temple, I would always be reminded of the insane majesty and power of God.

Another vision of the tetramorph.

Ezekiel 1:5-10 "In the middle of (the fire) was something like four living creatures. This was their appearance: they were of human form. Each had four faces and each of them had four wings. Their legs were straight and the soles of their feet were like the sole of a calf's foot; and they sparkled like burnished bronze. Under their wings on their hour sides they had human hands. And the hour had their faces and their wings thus: their wings touched one another;... the four had a face of a human being, the face of a lion on the right side, the face of an ox on the left side, and the face of an eagle..." 

Isaiah 6:2 "Seraphs were in attendance above him (God); each had six wings: with two they covered their faces, and with two they covered their feet, and with two they flew."