Writing Communities: Everyone is out to destroy or steal my ideas

So... while I've never been on DeviantART... I'm a budding writer and I know I'm in desperate need of a community to read/edit/support me as I write. It takes a  village to publish a novel... maybe...

The thing is I am SOO suspicious of everyone... successful and not. They will steal my ideas (as if my ideas were intriguing and rare in the first place). They will mock me behind my back. They will rip my novel to pieces and then steal it in the manner of deception used in Bridesmaids.

I know that supportive and creative writing communities exist, but I think instead of trying to find one that suits me, I'm trying to build my own by finding friends who write and swap and critique and encourage.

While I tried to engage a bit with the nanowrimo forums... even they seemed terrifying to me. While I don't think I'm a terrible writer, I'm not actually sure how good/not good I am. I know grammar, I'm not sure about aesthetic. I know what I like, I know lit crit., but approaching things from a writerly perspective is something I'm not as experienced with (odd for someone who writes on a near daily basis).

Writing is new territory for me. I've been writing stories and poems since I was a little girl, but I've kept them mostly to myself. I don't know how good I am, so my hubris level is very low. I take it for what it is, and don't expose it to the world for ridicule. But the time is coming when I would like to put it out there, and I just can't seem to find the community I'm looking for where it seems friendly but not forced, business-like and helpful, and understanding.

Everything out there seems like a competition... sigh...

Advice? I'll take anything I can get my hands and eyes on ...