"God has a plan"...

While I don't doubt that the above is true... in fact, I whole heartedly believe it, I'm very tired of this phrase being used as an apologetic that I'm not married yet.

Let me explain.

While visiting my friends and family in NJ this summer, inevitably someone asks me "so, what's going on in your love life?"

Normally, this is the question that makes 20-something singles cringe, but it doesn't bother me. No. It isn't the question that bothers me, it's the pity.

This year I have had a lot of job training. I'm not going to go into details, but it was a lot of work. A lot of work leaves one a lot tired... nay, exhausted... unless some guy wanted to volunteer to rub my shoulders and make me dinner while I marked papers and organised data, I wasn't going to have much of a relationship with anyone.

I also have been to 4 Shakespearean plays, wandered around the city, and travelled a little bit. Yet, because I wasn't doing all of this with a boyfriend, "God has a plan" for me.

The thing is, I KNOW that God has a plan... I'm living it. I moved to another continent, I've been doing a job for 1.5 years and only getting paid for 1/2 of it. I've been getting loads of job training. I've been travelling and visiting friends and family in my spare time with my little bits of spare money. I KNOW God has a plan. So far, His plan just has not included a boyfriend, fiance, or husband for me, and ::shock and horror:: I'm FINE with this.

Other phrases I don't want to hear in relation to my singleness are "it's all in God's timing," and "God will bring him to you someday."

Why can't women have a sense of humor about singleness? Why does it have to be a tragedy? Why can't anyone say "that's ok. Men are the only one's spreading the Swing Flu..." or "You want MY husband? I'm ready to trade in for a newer model."

I, on the other hand, am usually overflowing with humor when asked these inane questions. I figure that if I'm funny, they might not pity me quite so much... the thing is, that this can make me look just that much sadder... that I actually have a plan to handle the pity. Sometimes a girl just has to have a plan.

I think the really sad thing is that for most of these people, usually women, they cannot accept that God's plan for my life might not include a man. To them, no matter what I do, my life isn't complete if I'm single.

During an episode of Gilmore Girls, Emily is freaking out because Richard is sick and slacking on his side of the matrimonial chores. Lorelai comes over to help her figure some stuff out with the business. She uses this time to tell her mom that her fiance and her broke up. Emily, very out of character, says that it's ok. She's in a kayak. "I'm in a canoe. Your father has dropped the paddle and now the canoe is going in circles and the faster I paddle the faster it's spinning and I'm getting very tired. But you. You're in a kayak. A kayak has paddles on both sides so you can steer it by yourself..." "I am kayak hear me roar!"

I'm not trying to say that men can't enrich a woman's life. I'm not trying to say that marriage is archaic and useless. I'm not even trying to say I wouldn't like to one day get married. I don't mind questions about my love life... if the masses are curious, by all means ask... just don't pity me if the answer you get isn't what YOU want for my life. Because God does have a plan... and neither of us knows what it is yet...