Today I've been distracted. Something kept coming into the back of my mind, but I couldn't figure out what it was... Had I forgotten something? Did I have a bill to pay? Did I need to call someone back?
All day I let the little alarm go off in my head and I ignored it until mid-afternoon when I finally signed online and went to check up on a few things. I looked at the date and realized what it was--it was one of my sort of ex-friend's birthdays.
It wasn't a short-lived friendship--she and I had been friends since we were 15... about 11 years. I was in her wedding... and not at least saying hi to her on her birthday just didn't feel right inside.
So am I so stubborn that I can't even say hi?... No... she's blocked me and unfriended me... she's cut me out of her life. I tried. I fought. And... I can't fight anymore.
It feels right. Sometimes friends are for life, even if we want them to be. Even if they drain us, saying goodbye hurts.
I know it doesn't make sense that it should hurt me to not say Happy Birthday to her today, but it did...
Sometimes we have to walk away, but shadows are still left on our hearts.
It wasn't a short-lived friendship--she and I had been friends since we were 15... about 11 years. I was in her wedding... and not at least saying hi to her on her birthday just didn't feel right inside.
So am I so stubborn that I can't even say hi?... No... she's blocked me and unfriended me... she's cut me out of her life. I tried. I fought. And... I can't fight anymore.
It feels right. Sometimes friends are for life, even if we want them to be. Even if they drain us, saying goodbye hurts.
I know it doesn't make sense that it should hurt me to not say Happy Birthday to her today, but it did...
Sometimes we have to walk away, but shadows are still left on our hearts.
I've had very similar experiences. 70 x 7 only takes you so far when the other person is done with you :>/ Glad you're with good people right now to focus on instead.
ReplyDelete*also, I love that picture.
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