Beach Rules

After a life time of hitting the Jersey Shore (the real one, not the one on the TV show)... I have some advice for anyone trying to have a great day at the beach. Most of my experience comes from Ocean City, NJ, a dry family-oriented town on the south shore. 

1. Thou shalt listen to beach jams on the way to the shore with the windows down, and usually arms (and/or) legs out the window... the stinky sweet smell of the marsh before you hit the bridge is epic. 

2. Thou shalt wear sunscreen, and apply it on the sidewalk before you get to the sand (lol). 

3. Thou shalt find free parking and if possible the free beach. If you can't find the free beach or it's far away, you should have at least 2-3 beach tags per 5 people or the high schoolers who "monitor" the beach might jack you up against a locker and take your lunch money (no Mack-n-Mancos!!!!) 

4. Thou shalt EITHER visit WaWa for lunch OR hit the boardwalk for lunch (preferably Stewarts or Mack-n-Manco's)... 

5. Thou shalt eat custard 

6. Thou shalt NOT walk on blankets with sandy feet... this will ensure you get invited BACK to the shore 

7. Thou shalt stay hydrated... nunya friends wanna drag yo sweaty ass across the sand... 

8. Thou shalt NOT boogie board into people's heads 

9. Thou shalt NOT make inappropriate comments loudly about speedo's in front of the life guards no matter how hilarious it might be 

10. Thou shalt nap the sun-stupid out of you before operating any heavy machinery 

Enjoy :)