So I've been deliberating, thinking, journaling, and trying to find a response to Becca's Rebuttal , which is an amazing blog. This girl sounds awesome, so full of life, so real, and open. I love it!
So the debate is out there: Does Disney create unrealistic expectations for relationships? Does the generation who grew up in Disney's golden era need everything to feel Disney enough for it to be good enough?
When I look at the Disney princes, the "traditional ones"--Prince (Snow White), Aladdin, Prince Charming (Cinderella) , Prince Philip (Sleeping Beauty), Prince Eric (The Little Mermaid), Beast (Beauty and the Beast), and the newly added Prince Naveen (The Princess and the Frog), and Flynn Rider (Tangled), I see EITHER 2 dimensional characters (aka boring) or troubled dudes (guys who need to get their sh** together). Prince in Snow White only shows up at the end... he isn't even IN the film, Aladdin lies and probably doesn't completely stop at the wedding, Prince Charming's, with his daddy issues, shows some character, but really, the angry King is more interesting than he is.
I guess the point is that, I never assumed that at the movie's close all their problems would be ended. I assumed Beast still might get tetchy sometimes, and Aladdin might fib, Flynn probably loves to nick Rapunzel's things and "hide" them... lol and Naveen needs to learn how to be useful. Lol.
I never saw the happy ending as the ending, but as the beginning of something.
I'm a 27-year-old teacher from South Jersey, living in London with 3 guys. I've moved 10 times in 9 years, and I'm settling into this cool new apartment on the South East side of London. For a few months I'll be exploring the parks and finding the good coffee. I'll get my route to work down. But overall, it won't be too different.
Some of my friends and family have been getting married and having babies... and it's like the Disney moment: it's a new beginning. Learning to live with one another, getting new schedules down, and figuring out each other's moods and preferences and when to argue and when to cave.
And for some of them it seems more natural, for some of them it's more of an "adventure". But it's not (as the t-shirt says) "Game over".
The one Disney Fallacy that I do notice, that I have felt deep inside me, is this idea that once together, this couple won't hurt each other again--which just isn't true.
This romanticized idea of love, fate, destiny, and peace in relationships is what I see in Disney, in most romantic comedies, actually, which really bothers me.
But I don't know if I make this up, or if it's there. Rapunzel is Flynn's new dream, so he saves her from Mother Gothel, but I'm sure there are still issues in his heart about being an orphan and whatnot. I'm sure the Queen and King had some shortcomings about their newly recovered daughter marrying a wanted criminal, however good he was deep down.
I'm sure eventually Ariel's enthusiasm gets annoying to Eric when he's had a long day, and Aladdin's constant showing off will tire out Jasmine when she's PMSing.
I don't know if I made it up, or if I just wish and hope that's how it will be... but...
Did you notice how BORING that is? I mean, Into the Woods, the classic broadway "after the fairytale" musical, was written to give the in-depth scoop of these fairy-tale characters inner longings and fears and dreams, etc. The entire metaphor of going "into the woods" was getting deep down into the nitty gritty of a relationship, of a person, of intimacy: physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual... It's messy in there cause people are inherently messy.
Did anyone even watch Cinderella II? Why not? Cause the characters were too flat in the first movie... we cried at the happy ending (although in the Perrault version, the step-sisters have their eyes pecked out by crows... teehee...)
Is this why we secretly crave reality TV which "uncovers" the humanity, the fights, the ugliness of celebrities? We wonder, deep down, if they're "real" like us? If they sometimes skip brushing their teeth or have bodily functions or get rude to people or lay around endlessly in pjs watching reruns of Criminal Minds with home-made ferrero rocher milkshakes? (OMG amazing!)
But I digress...
Back to Becca, who wrote: ' I hope I’m just too jaded and hurt by things in the past and that somewhere out there, someone will make me feel that way. I love my boyfriend. I still don’t know if he’s The One, and knowing myself, I’ll never know for sure about anything that serious. I’ll always doubt myself. Maybe that’s what I wish I had that is so inherently Disney—that knowing that all the girls have about their prince.'
My best "response" to this is actually ironic. It's Elinor's response in Sense and Sensibility, to Edward supposedly getting married "It's is bewitching to think one's happiness depends entirely on one person...", which of course, she gets "her" person in the end.
Still, Relevant Magazine's Article, "Why So Many Can't Find 'The One'" is an interesting article about the sociological ideas we have about romance and love and the limitations that not only Christians place on themselves, but for this post I'll say "Disney-Generation America".
From living over-seas and in such a multi-cultural city, I've had some time to get other opinions on romance and love, and it's been a very interesting journey. It's made me confront some of my own hang-ups I have about destiny and love.
One thing I would say, as a bit of advice, is to find someone who loves what you love. Maybe not everything, but someone who can head down the same path with you, and you with him. For as Antoine de Saint Exupery once said "Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."
So the debate is out there: Does Disney create unrealistic expectations for relationships? Does the generation who grew up in Disney's golden era need everything to feel Disney enough for it to be good enough?
I guess the point is that, I never assumed that at the movie's close all their problems would be ended. I assumed Beast still might get tetchy sometimes, and Aladdin might fib, Flynn probably loves to nick Rapunzel's things and "hide" them... lol and Naveen needs to learn how to be useful. Lol.
I never saw the happy ending as the ending, but as the beginning of something.
I'm a 27-year-old teacher from South Jersey, living in London with 3 guys. I've moved 10 times in 9 years, and I'm settling into this cool new apartment on the South East side of London. For a few months I'll be exploring the parks and finding the good coffee. I'll get my route to work down. But overall, it won't be too different.
Some of my friends and family have been getting married and having babies... and it's like the Disney moment: it's a new beginning. Learning to live with one another, getting new schedules down, and figuring out each other's moods and preferences and when to argue and when to cave.
The one Disney Fallacy that I do notice, that I have felt deep inside me, is this idea that once together, this couple won't hurt each other again--which just isn't true.
This romanticized idea of love, fate, destiny, and peace in relationships is what I see in Disney, in most romantic comedies, actually, which really bothers me.
But I don't know if I make this up, or if it's there. Rapunzel is Flynn's new dream, so he saves her from Mother Gothel, but I'm sure there are still issues in his heart about being an orphan and whatnot. I'm sure the Queen and King had some shortcomings about their newly recovered daughter marrying a wanted criminal, however good he was deep down.
I'm sure eventually Ariel's enthusiasm gets annoying to Eric when he's had a long day, and Aladdin's constant showing off will tire out Jasmine when she's PMSing.
I don't know if I made it up, or if I just wish and hope that's how it will be... but...
Did you notice how BORING that is? I mean, Into the Woods, the classic broadway "after the fairytale" musical, was written to give the in-depth scoop of these fairy-tale characters inner longings and fears and dreams, etc. The entire metaphor of going "into the woods" was getting deep down into the nitty gritty of a relationship, of a person, of intimacy: physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual... It's messy in there cause people are inherently messy.
Did anyone even watch Cinderella II? Why not? Cause the characters were too flat in the first movie... we cried at the happy ending (although in the Perrault version, the step-sisters have their eyes pecked out by crows... teehee...)
Is this why we secretly crave reality TV which "uncovers" the humanity, the fights, the ugliness of celebrities? We wonder, deep down, if they're "real" like us? If they sometimes skip brushing their teeth or have bodily functions or get rude to people or lay around endlessly in pjs watching reruns of Criminal Minds with home-made ferrero rocher milkshakes? (OMG amazing!)
But I digress...
Back to Becca, who wrote: ' I hope I’m just too jaded and hurt by things in the past and that somewhere out there, someone will make me feel that way. I love my boyfriend. I still don’t know if he’s The One, and knowing myself, I’ll never know for sure about anything that serious. I’ll always doubt myself. Maybe that’s what I wish I had that is so inherently Disney—that knowing that all the girls have about their prince.'
My best "response" to this is actually ironic. It's Elinor's response in Sense and Sensibility, to Edward supposedly getting married "It's is bewitching to think one's happiness depends entirely on one person...", which of course, she gets "her" person in the end.
Still, Relevant Magazine's Article, "Why So Many Can't Find 'The One'" is an interesting article about the sociological ideas we have about romance and love and the limitations that not only Christians place on themselves, but for this post I'll say "Disney-Generation America".
From living over-seas and in such a multi-cultural city, I've had some time to get other opinions on romance and love, and it's been a very interesting journey. It's made me confront some of my own hang-ups I have about destiny and love.
One thing I would say, as a bit of advice, is to find someone who loves what you love. Maybe not everything, but someone who can head down the same path with you, and you with him. For as Antoine de Saint Exupery once said "Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."
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