The feeling that something is coming...

So for about a year now I've had this feeling... the feeling that something is coming. Something big. Something life changing...

This feeling is not very helpful.

This feeling makes me sometimes feel that all of the things I have been doing already are very run-of-the-mill...

This isn't necessarily the case.

I keep doing double takes when someone has news. I keep wondering "is this it?" Not in an unsatisfied way, but wanting to afford this "big thing" the proper enthusiasm, so keeping all other enthusiasm in check till it arrives.

My prayer life hasn't been helping... all signs point to "just keep waiting. just keep going. keep moving forward."

And I am. But sometimes I feel like the chariot horse of my life is very confused... wanting to race forward, feeling he needs to pace, and wanting to slow down and savor every moment... all at the same time (what, you've never been with a woman before?)...

I'm hoping the coming weeks afford some clarity.