Unofficial Curriculum

Today there are no quirky images... today there only words... 

It has been a very emotional day in the classroom... on days like this, I feel like I've given everything to the wonderful teenagers who grace the desks lined in the rows that never stay in straight rows in my classroom. 

Today, I probably wasn't a very good teacher, because I ditched the lesson plan on narrative writing when my year 11 girls came in upset about boys... it's a small class, an all girl class, and we had girl time today. Today, it was all about the "unwritten" curriculum, because with 80% of young women being sexually assaulted between the ages of 14-24, and the rates of emotional, verbal, physical and domestic abuse sky rocketing, someone needs to tell them that they don't deserve to be sworn at, hit, manipulated, or called names. They don't deserve to feel like they're being "traded in" for "better girls". They don't deserve to feel like they aren't pretty enough, or cute enough, or sexy enough... as though 15 year olds should be worrying about being sexy, anyway. 

Today, I did one of the hardest things teachers can do, I told them about me... I opened up to them and let them know some things... like, that I haven't had tonnes of boyfriends, but they have never called me names like "bitch" or "whore" or "slut"... I've never been hit by a boyfriend... I've been respected. Sadly, I can't say the same for them, and I've outlived them by more than a decade already. 

I told them that, while story books try to tell them to be princesses, men don't always fight for you... sadly, it's true. Men can be incredibly strong mentally, emotionally, physically... but they don't always use it for you, sometimes they use it against you. You have to fight for yourself... for your self esteem. You have to fight to love yourself, because sometimes you are all you have. 

That's not a sad thing, being strong and, as Adele sings it "standing on my own two feet." I told them being strong is not the same as being bitchy or mean... strength is knowing who you are when everyone isn't sure... strength is living out of love and kindness everyday, despite adversity, cause life is hard and messy. 

I told them that they deserve to be really loved, but that if things don't work out, it's ok, cause marriages are about building a life together and working together for the same things... if you find out you aren't working for the same things, it's better to end it, then to push till someone can't take it anymore. 

I told them I'm not the same girl I was 5-6 years ago, the first few times past boyfriends and I talked about marriage... I like who I am now more... I know was for the best, breaking up... It's better to be single than in an abusive relationship... it's better to be single than with someone who makes you feel like crap... 

The best response ever was that they asked if they could come back and have coffee with me when they went away to sixth form cause I "tell them like it is." 

Part 2... "Don't be an ass to my students"

I spend an inordinate amount of my time with young people who tend to think quite lowly of themselves. They might be a bit mouthy, but at the end of the day, they're terrified they're going to get it wrong. What? You ask? Almost everything... they live in the fear of other's opinions. 

So when another adult comes in and calls them disgusting and tells me how horrible they are, screams at them, and basically says they're all thick, I get really angry, at the adult. 

No one wants to be told those things... no one deserves to be talked to that way... and I don't understand why some adults feel the need to basically verbally abuse children. I'm getting so mad writing about it, I just have to go...