Whatever happened to "the meek shall inherit the earth?": Part 1 -- the working-mom show-down

"God is not a Republican or a Democrat" 

I came into contact with this catch phrase in college. It was the infamous Bush/Kerry election and that stupid song "this land is my land" song got stuck in my head for weeks on end. People got into intense arguments, completely convinced that they had biblical evidence as to why their opinion was the "right" opinion. And to be fair, both sides had good points and only mildly abused the scriptures (jk.... no really... not... jk).

So another election is under way and the religious vote and religious issues have been making headlines for more than a year already. Women's issues, Civil Rights, poverty, joblessness, government programs, and abortion have been making headlines and the media wars have already left scars on many of my friends.

I'm going to skim through some of these issues, in no way giving comprehensive arguments, but trying to summarise and leave some insight instead.

So, issue 1: Working Moms

I was chilling on the back porch with a good friend the other day. Her mom has never really worked. She got to be at every sporting event, every teacher meeting, she baked for every school event, was home every day when she and her sister came home from school. She feels completely blessed by her stay-at-home mom.

I, on the other hand, had a mom who worked. She could pick me up from school if I were sick and drop me off at home before going back to work. I learned to take care of myself. I learned to get my homework done before mom got home. I helped my brother with his homework and sometimes even started dinner. I learned a lot of self-sufficiency and about serving others. My mom was there for me, but she had other responsibilities as well.

So... a few months ago, someone who used to work for the Democratic National Party said that Mrs. Romney "never worked a day in her life" and the entire country exploded. I loved the passion that working mothers and stay-at-home mom's alike defended their roles. Truly "the female of the species is more deadly than the male." But really, we all know that at the end of the day, unless a woman's husband has an awesome job, both sets of women feel pretty conflicted about staying at home or working when children are involved. I know a lot of women who rely on their husbands when they're finishing college or going to graduate school or just having children. They feel guilty over every purchase. They go without things they would just buy when they had their own purchases... I've seen a lot of very stoic women who rely on their husband's sometimes limited pay.

On the other hand, women who work constantly feel guilty. They constantly feel like they're missing moments in their children's lives, that they are too tired to be there for their children, that their husbands might not stay interested in them if they're too boring and some of them worry that they'll replace moments with things since they have more money than time.

I know that women emphasise the importance of choice in a lot of women's rights issues, but, let's face it, some women, especially single moms and impoverished families don't have this option--they don't have as many choices as some others.

But as my friend and I sipped our coffee, we wondered "Why do women take this incredibly vulnerable issue and just make each other feel worse? What would happen if the stay-at-home moms and the working moms worked together?" What if my friend stayed at home with my kids and loved them while I made some money and worked? I could financially bless her family, she could bless my family with her time.

Neither of us have kids right now, but it seemed like we made this silent pact to support one another if we ever had kids at the same time. And even if we don't, or aren't in the same area, I know we'll reach our arms out into the community to find families we can bless with our respective offers of love.

I know this idea can be much more complicated than "find a friend who stays home," but I feel like the concept is fairly simple--instead of feeling superior for staying at home or going to work, don't judge one another, and just feel the blessing that you are offering one another.

I personally don't feel like I'd be a great stay-at-home mom. We don't need to talk about it now, and I reserve the right to change my mind (it's my perogative), but I don't feel guilty for wanting to work, and I don't feel sorry for anyone who wants to stay home. It's just life circumstances, so let's bless one another and highlight that silver lining.

Don't see your nanny as less than you, don't see your babysitters as unimportant, don't see working moms as unloving or irresponsible. Focus on kindness and understanding and let's love one another.