I wanted evidence

My friend Angela signed me up to go to a photoshoot with her. She said we'd get pampered and professional makeup and hair and get our photos taken and we wouldn't have to buy anything if we didn't want to...

But I wanted to...

After a few hours of hair and makeup, I looked awesome. The photographer was funny and nice and though I was a bit nervous, it was so much fun. We waited to get our proofs and view them and then after we picked the ones we really liked, we got the insane price cards...

Fair enough, these makeup artists and photographers regularly do professional rock bands, fashion shoots, etc... but I'm a lowly school teacher who was under the impression that this wasn't going to be expensive.

And it didn't have to be...

But I wanted some photos.

I wanted evidence that even for a few hours I was beautiful. I had colorful clothes on, I was posed beautifully, I shone... I was radiant and I wanted proof.

Walking home from the station, I was annoyed with myself that it was so easy for me to sell out and want that... I gave in to the idea that beauty on the outside mattered... and it does, but not as much as the heart.