The Modern Nativity Story

This year was the first with my new sisterinlaw and nephew, who is 5. Maddie is an agnostic and Ethan is impressionable. So as part of my Auntly duties, I decided, Christmas Eve, to put him to bed to the story of Baby Jesus Being Born.

Over 2000 years ago, really far away, there was an Emperor. He was so powerful he couldn't even count all his money. So he told everyone they had to go to the town they were born in so he could count them.

::Why?::

::Blank stare::

Anyway, there was this girl named Mary and she was dating Joseph. They were going to get married. But one day, and Angel came to Mary and told her God made her pregnant. Well, Joseph was pretty mad when he found out, so the Angel went to tell him it was ok, she didn't cheat on him, and that he should marry her.

So Joseph was from Bethlehem and Mary and Joseph had to travel there. So back then, no one had a car, so they had to ride on a donkey. It took 2 weeks to get there since they were riding a donkey and donkeys are SLOW.

So when they get to Bethlehem, there's no space in any hotels or inns or motels and they don't know anyone who they can stay with. So Joseph takes Mary to the last hotel, and the innkeeper tells Joseph that all he has is space in the garage.

::the garage??::

Well, back then, they rode donkeys and camels and didn't have cars, so they had to keep the animals in the garage and there was hay and water and stuff for the animals to eat and it was warm. So Joseph took Mary to the garage and Mary gave birth to Baby Jesus.

So in a field, pretty far away, these Angels were SO excited about Jesus being born that they fly out of heaven and start singing.

::Aunt Jenny? Do Angels have super powers?::

Yes, they can fly and have flaming swords and they can turn invisible and have giant wings. Anyway, they were singing so loud and they were so bright that they totally scared some shepherds.

::Shepherds?::

Shepherds are people who take care of baby sheep. The sheep live in the field, and the shepherds make sure nothing hurts the sheep.

::But why don't they stay in the garage?::

The garage is too small for all the sheep.

So then the shepherds come and find Baby Jesus and they all cry and want to hold him because he is so cool.

So then there were these OTHER guys, the three wise men. And they had a dream back when Mary was pregnant that Jesus was going to be born. God made a star move around in the sky to show them where Baby Jesus was. Have you seen a star move?

::like a shooting star?::

Like a shooting star, but slow, so they could follow it. And they brought Baby Jesus gifts: gold, because he was a king. Frankincense, because it was the best smelling perfume ever. To God, when we pray, our prayers are like really good smelling perfume. And Myrrh because Jesus was going to die for our sins and you put myrrh on dead people to help them be buried.

::Why was Jesus going to die?::

Jo jo will tell you at Easter. The point is, they brought him presents and this is why we give each other presents at Christmas and why we celebrate Christmas--because Baby Jesus was born.

the end.

I love, love, love my nephew :)