What I Learned in 2010

What I learned this year:

January: I learned how to miss someone and let it hurt. I didn't try to pretend it was fine. I didn't glaze over it or ignore it. It was pure, unadulterated absence and I took it head on.

February: I learned that love and relationships isn't banking. It's not about getting out what you put in. Sometimes, it's just about what you invest, not the returns... and you shouldn't call it "investing"...

March: I learned that it's useless to freak out. This year I've calmed down a lot. Instead of going to that panicky place when something changes or things get rough, I feel like I go deeper, inward and down... I feel a calmness. It's like a scene from The Village "I do not think about what will happen, only what needs to be done." Being a manager of my team, being honest with myself and allowing myself to be "messy" and "not together" have helped with this...

April: I learned that no matter how organized one can be, life happens. After a fun-filled Parisian/French holiday with friends, I got stuck in Bordeaux by the Icelandic Volcano... So when one is stuck in gorgeous Southern France, what does one do? Go to the beach of course... I also learned that after an 8 hour coach, a 6 hour ferry, 3 hours trying to get off of a ferry, missing the last train and a 3 hour taxi ride, no one wants to mess with me and that's ok cause everyone has their limits.

May: I learned that sometimes, it's better to let relationships go. People grow and change and sometimes the connection isn't forever and there doesn't have to be a bad guy. It just is what it is, and forgiveness, love and grace are possible.

June: I learned that I am strong and that it's easy to hide things. I smiled through work and no one knew about my break up. I have mixed feelings about this... was it professionalism or dodging the issue? Sometimes I'm not sure.

July: I learned now much I love cheesy fun, meeting new people, and mountains. I don't love the desert, but I don't mind the heat. All that's needed is a little foliage... lol

August: I learned that family is amazing.... and some family is actually blood. My best friends and my new sister-in-law nurtured my heart all summer with coffee days, beach days, flair attacks, late nights of chatting and giggling, very honest conversations, fashion advice, and cuddles...

September: I learned that just when you thought things were going to be the same... they aren't. Little things like a new computer system can bring out the frustrations and creativity of people. It can also show you how easily people will give up.

October: I learned about anticipation. I feel like big things are coming for my friends and family and I in the New Year, but I can't quite put my finger on it. I got into my Psych course, pending funding still... and am just constantly praying and waiting for the right finances. My parent's are getting things done in the house, and everyone seems to be waiting for something.

November: I learned that making due is sometimes a blessing in disguise. Sometimes the muffins get burned a bit, so you slather on some nutella. Sometimes you can't go home for Thanksgiving, but you get an amazing weekend with awesome friends instead. Sometimes you can't afford a flight home for Christmas, so your entire family plots and schemes to get you home. Sometimes you can't afford to buy a present, so you get a poem or a song or a blanket instead.

December: I've learned that there is something to say for timing. I feel like I know what's coming and what I want, but I don't know exactly what order it will come in or how it will fit in with other people's timing. The New Year is the end of something, but also the beginning... it carries with it the paradox of Commencement. So many people I know are looking to the future, which is not a bad thing, but God's been reminding me not to forget the present: "Don't look so much to the future, but live in the present. See what is around you, not only where you are going."

This Christmas has been an incredibly special one. My family has lavished their love and blessings and gifts on me. I feel so humble and unworthy. I feel speechless when confronted with their Christ-like love and generosity. Some people have been complaining about how bad our society is getting. I, on the other hand, see two opposing cultures emerging: one is power-hungry, obsessed with sex and attention and power, but in another I see extravagant love. I see teenagers and people in their 20s giving up parts of their lives for the freedom and service of others. I see friends moving into the place of families, which were broken, I see people loving complete strangers with time and energy, I see young people flying all over the world to free slaves and feed the starving. Yes, there are crazy drug sellers and suicide bombers, but there are also people who adopt orphans, develop therapies for victims of sex slavery, forgive those who have murdered their families.

I see hope in our world as much as I see despair. (I'm borrowing these passages from Steph ;))

Habakkuk 1: 3b-5

Destruction and violence are before me;
strife and contention arise.
⁴ So the law becomes slack
and justice never prevails.
The wicked surround the righteous—
therefore judgement comes forth perverted.

⁵ Look at the nations, and see!
Be astonished! Be astounded!
For a work is being done in your days
that you would not believe if you were told.

God I want to see what you're going to do... and I want to help. Bring it on in 2011.

I want to know what you guys learned in 2010 and any plans you have for 2011. After college, I said I just wanted my life to be full of good stories and so far, it totally has been. May God bless you in 2011 and always.