The Only One

Why is it that some people think they are the ONLY ONE?

I will post the most annoying things about flying... but first, I think I need to give attention to some deviant American behavior.

So, no offence, but usually airline food makes me nauseous, especially on an overnight flight when you eat "breakfast" right before landing.... not a good idea.

So I decided I would eat before I got on the plane and just sleep so I could be pumped and ready to go when I landed in the a.m. in London.... or so I thought.

I usually look like some broken down statue covered in gauze on the plane. I have this hot pink pashmina scarf that I use as a plane blanket, but instead of wearing it like a blanket or a snuggy or something, I put it over my head so it looks like a statue covered with gauze. This has a two-fold purpose: mostly so the cold air doesn't hurt my nostrils and wake me up, secondly, I can see through the thin scarf, but people usually can't see through to me, so I can sort of spy on people if I stay really still while pretending to sleep.

So I cover up and lean back and get a tap tap on my shoulder.

This somewhat large woman with a very loud voice confronts me:

Woman: Don't you think it's rude to put your seat back on an international flight?

Jenny: No...

Woman: Well, I paid for this seat.

Jenny: And I paid for my seat.

Woman: Well, I paid for this space.

Jenny: All the seats go down and they're all spaced the same...

Woman: Well, what do you want me to do with our stuff? (gesturing to her child and husband's miscellaneous things she's holding on her large lap) Would you rather have my son sit here and kick your chair all night?

Jenny: Yes, cause then I could put my seat back.

After this, I turned and waited, expecting her to switch her son... but no. She did not move.

I casually tried to glimpse without being too obvious, but it wasn't till after dinner that she got up to go to the bathroom.

I put my seat down.

When she got back, she pushed my seat up and proceeded to dig her knees into the back of my seat all night.

In between this and the squabbling with her husband and their fighting over who was going to take the little boy to the bathroom, they were a general favorite amongst our row.

Needless to say, though I tried to snooze, sleep barely came to me. It's just not possible to sleep in a fully-upright position. I kept trying to think that in any other circumstances, this lady would be nice.

Then my evil shoulder demon would come out with very mean remarks:

"Maybe fatty should buy envoy seats if her fat ass can't fit in coach."

"How dare she not ALLOW you to put your seat down!"

"She's so pleasant, no wonder her husband wants to keep the child between them..."

"WTF?! Why would they make reclining seats for trans-Atlantic flights if you weren't supposed to recline them?!"

"I'm going to work in a day... If I fall asleep on the 2.5 hour train ride from Heathrow to Ilford and get mugged and sold into white slavery it will be HER FAULT for keeping me from getting good sleep."

I TRIED in vain to try to calm myself... but I was angry. Maybe she was embarrassed about being so big and that's why she got so angry with me for putting the seat back. I'm sure she was uncomfortable, but who ISN'T uncomfortable on a 7.5 hour flight? I'm sure it was stressful travelling with a child, but the lil boy didn't really make much noise or fuss (unlike her and her bickering husband). I TRIED desperately to put myself in her shoes and try to come up with reasons and excuses for her to be so horrible to me... I TRIED to be understanding... but really, she was only thinking of herself.

I strolled onto the plane with my blue pigtails, no makeup, sweat pants and back pack... I was told by a few people I met that I look 19. She probably thinks I'm some stupid kid going to study abroad in London and party it up. She probably thinks she's married and has a child and responsibility and that's why she deserves more space. That's why she should get to kick the back of my seat all night and talk loudly near my ear and keep everyone within a 4 feet vicinity awake.

But even when I tried to pity her, I couldn't... My compassion would not rouse itself on her behalf.

At the end of the flight, her little boy coughed for about 30 minutes. I felt sorry for him. It sounded as though he might be sick from so much coughing. As an olive branch, when we had landed, I turned around and smiled and asked if he was old enough to have a cough lozenge and offered one--my own personal olive branch--we made each other miserable for 7.5 hours, but we can be nice about your little boy, right?

Wrong.

With narrowed eyes and a sharpened voice, she shouted: You REALLY need to not talk to me.

I think my eyes almost popped out of my head, but then I smiled. No need to waste energy being negative over such a naturally miserable creature. I didn't make her miserable--she makes herself and all those around her miserable.

Besides, I had a long way to go and baggage to carry along the way...

I needed to be alert so I could be conscious of others along my journey, since I am not the only one...