Hot Pink Toenails :)

Recently in the news, JCrew has been taking a slamming for president Jenna Lyons modelling with her son Beckett painting his toes hot pink.

I can tell you, stuff like this bothers me... I work with teenagers and the boys that wear guyliner and gothic clothes and skulls and stuff... they still LOVE "never say never" by Justin Bieber, and they're the ones who say they are bi-sexual... which I think stems more from abuse than culture.

Most English boys say they LOVE pink... wear pink polos, steal girl's scarves and stuff all the time and they carry man bags and they are very much straight... so it goes to show that you can never tell... a myriad of factors goes into ones gender and sexuality.

And btw, both sets of boys have had their nails painted at one time or another... and really who should be surprised? In today's culture, spas offer just as many services to men: waxing, bleaching, polishing, pedicures and manicures for men, cleanses and wraps for men--and obviously these businesses are staying open so male clients must be using them...

Further, Sarah Manley had to deal with the same shananigans at Halloween when her son wanted to dress up like Daphne from Scooby Doo. "Manley said today of the J.Crew ad, "If the roles had been reversed and the photo...had been of a little girl playing in the mud with trucks, nobody would have batted an eye.""

Why should it be wrong for a son with a strong, intelligent woman for his mother admire a smart female cartoon crime fighter?

Isn't this why our culture created female crime fighters? She-Ra and Wonder Woman and Bat Girl? So girls could have someone to look up to in a world full of male crime fighting superheroes?

A popular button on fb is "When all the other girls wanted to be princesses, I secretly wanted to be Batman".

But no one would blink an eye at that...

This has happened before, ya know, the influence of strong parents on childhood. In the Romantic and Victorian eras of English literature, the rise of women's literature is rampant--so what caused these women to rise up and put pen to paper--what caused them to even be literate as many of their counterparts never went to school or learned to read?

Strong single fathers. Many of the women responsible for some of the greatest literature of their time had widowers for fathers--fathers who hired governesses to teach them history, geometry, languages, Greek, Latin, and Literacy. They wouldn't settle for their daughters knowing French and embroidery and maybe some drawing--NO!

No, in those times mothers held their daughters back, reinforcing gender roles in society and keeping rebellious women in line... but now... now things are different.

So now that we have a society full of educated, strong, independent, successful women, what is the implication for sons? Even sons in close families where both mother and father are still present?

Now more than ever men admit to admiring strong, smart women, and traditional gender roles seem to be blurring in marriages and family relationships.

Many conservatives see this as a bad thing, especially conservative religious groups, but successful equal partnerships in families do not have to threaten tradition, but rather enhance it. Yes, the changing of attitudes and norms in society can be a scary path to walk, but having compassion and finding loving, humane ways of dealing with new challenges should not be seen as weak or tolerant, but the way forward.

New questions are in the world that had previously not existed or had been kept locked deep inside. But we know that having a good reputation and being a pundit for "traditional values" doesn't change our hearts, and God sees and judges the heart.

God says "Come to me you who are weary and I will give you rest." God knitted us together in our mothers' wombs and knows the deepest parts of us. He sees the parts that feel like they don't fit. He sees the parts that others judge and hate and are afraid of. He sees how hard it is for us to choose love sometimes and how easy it is to point fingers and judge others.

In fact, God's greatest commandment is to LOVE Him more than anything and then to love your neighbour as yourself. He doesn't say to judge your neighbour, hate your neighbour, or shun your neighbour.

I have friends in the LGBT community and they are the loveliest people you could meet. Some are amazing educators, thinkers, artists, and most of them are amazing with children. Some have permanent partners, some are single, some are conservative, some like to party a lot, just like my friends who aren't LGBT.

And just like my friends who aren't LGBT, some have had horrific family situations or bad relationships, some have had perfectly lovely families who adore them--so who can tell?

Who can know if pink nail polish will be the trigger for Beckett to grow up gay or bisexual and what business is that of the general public? Jeanne Sager, on the parenting blog The Stir, asks:"So go back and look at that picture in the J.Crew ad, will you? What do you see? Do you see pink nail polish on a boy? Or do you see a little boy named Beckett, with beautiful blond curls, and a mom who looks like she is impossibly in love with her kid, in the very best way? Because that's what I see."

But more than that, I see a mom who loves spending time with her son, and he loves her just as much as she adores him.

So here's to hot pink nail polish! Here's to loving families! And here's to the hope for more love, more faith, and more acceptance and celebration.