Jane Austen's Brilliant Hubris

The more I know of the world, the more I am convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love. I require so much! - Jane Austen

Dear Jane,

I would like to preface this letter by saying I am a HUGE fan of your work. I respect that you want to marry for love, not any sort of domestic need or social perception... I am right there with ya, sister... for reals.

I am all for having high standards in men. There is nothing wrong with being specific, with knowing yourself and knowing who you get along with and who you are attracted to... it's helpful.

However, it's also just a titch prideful, a bit arrogant, to think that no man in the world can meet your expectations... there, methinks, the problem might be with the expectations and not the man.

I understand... really, the social pressures of your day were a bit different than mine. If something doesn't work out with me and a fella, there isn't much social stigma on divorcing and moving on. I can legally ensure I'm not going to be left penniless and destitute. Getting married, for me, won't be, as some have described it, "the last legal form of slavery."

Still, as much as you have perspicacious perception of men, they aren't all a**holes... I promise.

(if you don't believe me, check out this book review)

No Jane, after a particularly infuriating set of interactions with the "greater sex," I have, repeatedly expressed my disdain for the fact that, as Amber Madison put it, "not all men are assholes, they’re just 'giant p***ies'."

Women seem to want this mad combination of strong, assertive men who are also sensitive and gentle... I am one of them. But just as women don't want to be judged for their talents, personalities, and preferences,... men don't either. Even if there is a man who can go out in his flannel and chop wood for the fire then come in, wipe his feet, and cuddle the newborn, I'm certain he won't always get it right, just like we don't always get it right.

Don't we do the same things... misunderstanding and running away or reacting strongly, wrongly to certain situations? Isn't this how the entire social misunderstanding rom-com movie business began? (most delightfully inspired by the kinds of complex social settings in your novels, Love) Only in real life it tends to end badly and feel agonizing, without that "ah-hah!" moment where the characters understand each other and themselves and will make bold expressions of their feelings, rejection be damned!

No, in the rage of my fits of "men suck!" a tiny voice whispers on the wind, "Don't be prideful, have compassion on them... we all need compassion." Yes, we do all need compassion... compassion, understanding and a little grace, for no sex is greater or lesser, as was thought, but we equally make mistakes, we equally need forgiveness, and, let us not forget, we're equally fabulous.

Lots of Love,

Jenny