"Please don't Talk to Me"

Living in a London, you learn the "rules" of the city... Londoners can be really friendly and sociable at bars and parties, but there are places they don't want you to chat to them including buses, trains, the street, etc.

Being the friendly girl that I am, I've gotten blanked plenty of times trying to start up friendly chat, usually when something particularly humorous is going on...

OK to Chat:
On train around 7pm, drunk man enters, swaying and leaning, sits on a few strangers laps, tries chatting to them, stands up, almost swinging out of the then open door. Almost gets his arm smashed in the door. Meanwhile, the entire train carriage is making meaningful eyes at each other of "Can you believe this guy?" I'm hiding behind my paper dying of laughter, hoping he doesn't hear me snorting. All passengers share sigh of relief when he gets off.

OK to Chat:
Two train passengers reading the same book. (Much of my train/cafe chat has been about books)

OK to Chat:
One Saturday morning I got on the Central line and sat down... only to have something soak through my jeans and I stood up trying to figure out if it was coke or pee. (It was fanta). Standing, many other people tried to sit in that seat, and I kept trying to keep them from sitting down. Most of them blanked me at first, but soon our whole section of seats was helping me deter people from an unhappy, wet-bottomed fate.

Not OK to Chat:
So Friday evening, around 730pm, I get off at Canning Town, which is a bit dodgy in the daylight and now it's evening. I'm trying to find a friend's house and I completely forget which road to take so I'm wandering but trying to look purposeful about where I'm walking. I get on a side road and have already made one bad turn and turn around, relocate myself, when this guy with a hood up is walking behind me. He's walking really close. There are no street lamps on the road. No close houses. No people I can see or hear. He's so close that I move over, thinking he might want to pass me, even though there's a wide side walk and he takes the opportunity to sidle up next to me and ask me how I am. He's a middle-aged black guy, sturdy build... and I don't want to assume that he's nefarious, but really? I contemplate blowing him off, but, if he gets mad, there will be no witnesses, so I try to be quietly friendly. I try to keep the conversation on him. I try to not reveal any information. And when I reach what I think is my friends house (which turns out NOT to be), I make sure he knows I don't live here (cause, yes, he asked). I gave him a fake name... (cause he asked that too) and when I rang the door and realised it wasn't my friends house, and he's not answering his phone, I walked the other way till I couldn't see him any more just in case he was still around.

I'm sure he's a very nice person, but it's just not a good idea to chat to young girls in dark alleys on misty early spring nights...